My White Silence

Last night I felt so impatient.  I was on ZOOM with a group of whites who wanted to do more and I wanted to do more, and there we were, doing what we always do. I wondered about my impatience and frustration as the group talked about education and book groups and presentations and trips […]

Grieving for those who find it hard to cry

When I was socialized out of crying, because men don’t do that, did I lose my ability to grieve?  I feel sadness, deeply, the weight is heavy in my body.  I feel my tear ducts and know they are there, filled with tears that will not come.  What can I do? In this pandemic world, […]

An encounter with Darkness

It is extremely important to encounter darkness (shame, fear, rage, humiliation, harm).  To encounter how we were harmed is to be able to embrace how we too have harmed and continue to harm. This is the wellspring of compassion . . . We are imprisoned in the never-ending dance of death – until we step […]

Grief and Praise

Grief is a form of generosity, which praises life and the people and situations which we have lost.  Grief that praises life shows the depth of our appreciation for having been given life enough to begin with, to experience both love and loss and that with all the mistreatment we humans give to the earth, […]


In to the stillness, I watch the flames of the candle, feet on the ground reaching into the earth, I am learning to be present. My mind wants to rip me away, into thinking and judging.  I come back to the dancing flames. My feet long for dirt and clay, tickling grasses, pebbles, rocks and […]

Where do I start?

It has been interesting to watch myself in the midst of the pandemic.  I had a moment where I thought, this is it, the end of capitalism as we know it.  There is no way for us to  not finally have a safety net for the vast majority of citizens who clearly need it.  And […]


I haven’t written for a while now So much is going on and I am drawn this way and that.  I have learned and keep learning and journeying further and further, beyond the boundaries I thought I knew. . . . . . into quiet presence I sit I have felt . . . emerging […]

Our hands

I am still coming to grips with the ways in which our patriarchal system has shamed me into a narrow crack of myself.  Afraid, I hide. I wonder why. I am tired of being afraid. I am tired of living the rules of rigid and unforgiving masculinity. I want to hold your hand until the […]

I can’t help believing in you

I am utterly heartbroken and passionately committed to healing.  I am heartbroken because those who seek to divide us keep tearing at us and pointing fingers to make sure we know who to blame and who we are to honor.  Well, I refuse to be divided, and I will not tear at you, or blame you, […]

Lessons -Rethought

In reading Bobbie Harro’s Cycle of Socialization, I learned about the lessons we are taught in our society tied to the identities we are given and assume.  For example, I was taught how to be a man to assume the “masculine” roles I would play in school, business, fatherhood and community.  I learned from the […]