I realize that most of the folks I am fundraising from are only interested in supporting BSA because of their relationship with me. So I wrote a story of why this is important to me – I hope it resonates: Here is the story of Damani, and how he is fighting for his life, […]
race amity
I know my friends who are promoting the passing of a bill to create Race Amity Day in Illinois, believe in right relations, in amicable and loving relationships, between the races, race amity. And when asked if I would sign a petition in support of the bill, I found myself saying no. One of my friends […]
I wish I knew what to say and do
Last week I was on a Signal thread where a few of us white cis-het men were musing about the conversations we wished we had with our fathers. Naturally one of those missing conversations has to do with sex. One man recalled that his father had told him of the existence and critical importance of the clitoris, to […]
Neither Lesser, Nor Greater
Early on my journey, I read these words, from Jamie Sam’s Dancing the Dream, “There are no lesser or greater paths through life.” We all walk a path that has been laid out for us. Laid out in our socialization. Laid out in the in the cosmos, perhaps. Many walk this path, stay true to the path in front […]
Witness
Outside the walls of segregation, inside the lives I can never fully know, I witness what I am not supposed to see. I travel, to the city, or wherever Black and Brown bodies live, but do not thrive. I travel past the pay-day loan shops, the used car lots and Dollar stores, fast food, and […]
A Morning After
Last night I co-facilitated a circle of men looking at and examining harm, specifically the harm done to them as children. A journey into an experience of marginalization and oppression, adultism. This morning, I sit and wonder what it was like for the men who entered into this space, as I wonder what it was like […]
Consent
I have just started to learn about Consent, and Consent Culture. Last night we practiced in my men’s group and now I realize just how powerful and challenging and important Consent may be. Nadia Rosales, in her piece entitled, Cultivating a Culture of Consent, https://www.dcfof.org/cultivating-a-culture-of-consent, writes: Consent culture is a culture which normalizes the action of […]
Fucking-up
Fucking-up is such a gift, and sometimes the more public it is, the more gifty it is. This week I was honored to be on a panel discussing allyship and sure enough an opportunity to actually be an ally showed up and I fucked it up in front of hundreds of people. Here’s what happened. One […]
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All my life I have accepted certain truths that I was taught and socialized into accepting by people I loved and trusted and then by the schools and other institutions that would shape my life. So, when I listen to the newscasters I have been taught to trust and watch the press conference by the […]
Trusting in Audre, adrianne, and Octavia
I haven’t written in weeks, so much to say and share and no words. The pandemic is part of it, it has put me on my heels, reeling, flailing, swinging between fear and anger. It is beyond anything any of us has ever experienced, and we aren’t likely half-way through. I want to be done […]